starnooze

10. Number 1 will you be mon friend.

9. Everytime Counselor arrives on the bridge I feel as tho I am blinded by large headlights.

8.Wesley Chrusher? oh my lovechild with Doctor Chrusher.

7. Data why don’t you take a long walk off a short pier!

6. Can we sell Worf on ebay?

5.Geordi, take us to maximum farts!

4. Admiral Nechayev says we need to have more romance on board number 1.

3. three trees in the free weened plants.

2. Q! I like you!

and the number 1 thing that would be funny if Picard said it….

O’Brien next time you beam me up…. make sure you bring my pants with me!

10. Jump Rope in Engineering

9. Sing a Britney Spears song wearing a Madonna outfit.

8. Tell knock knock jokes in a bikini.

7. Play with Sulu’s swords.

6. Dance the macarana.

5. Sit in the dark playing cards for dilithium crystals.

4. Tell Kirk that he is to big for his britches.

3. Talk to Oprah about being on Letterman!

2. Walk the fine line between universes

And the number one thing Uhura would not do….

Wear a birthday hat and sing haaaaaaaaapppy birthday Captain Kirk.

10 Captain Archer is myyyyyyyy hero!

9 Malcom is that a phaser or are you just happy to see me?

8 They just cast me to offset seven of 9

7 Who’s your daddy?

6 LOL

5 Damn I wish i could have been a member of Kirk’s Crew… I looked damn hot in those uniforms!

4 Captain, the Admiral is hailing us and he sounds PISSED!

3 Do these pants make my butt look big?

2 T is not a initial its actually part of my name!

and the number 1 thing T’Pol would never say.

I need some adult depends… cause Trips new girlfriend has got to be eliminated!

Welcome to StarNooze the Parody Newsletter for Starfleet Personnel. StarNooze started years ago on my old Mac Plus and I actually printed it up EVERY month and mailed it to select persons. I decided to revive it and bring it to the web. Every month I will set up a new edition in the era’s of all the tv shows of Star Trek.

Come to my bar… spend your latinum… visit the holosuites. I promise my drinks are not watered down.